Isn’t it crazy how a man I feel like I am constantly being used by him, so if you are upset, get over it cus life aint always fair.  Every chance I gave you, you fucked it up I never took you as a sex object I’ve never felt these feelings before with anyone else.  To all those who now need a safe space to go and cry in, because he will be our president, please listen.  He might be getting expelled.  I am so scared and stressed for him.  I hope he doesn’t get expelled or do anything else stupid.  I’ve always been honest about literally everything, but would having sex with you be good for me mentally and emotionally?  If you’re high enough, let me know all your secrets.  I miss him with all my heart.  No one will ever match up to him.  I just want to call him and cry.  I am so terribly lonely.  I wish that I could evaporate into thin air.  I wish I didn’t exist.  I wish I could run away.  I tell myself to stay strong, but I can’t.  I can’t anymore because we’re very different people who live very far away all the time.  You expectations never get met, and thus you get mad.  I don’t have high expectations because I know you’re an asshole.  Every time he kisses me, he says I’ve waited years to do that, and truthfully, so have I.  For the first time in many years, our country is headed in the right direction.  Not much has changed.  I’ve been sober for about two weeks, so he surprised me with celebratory woman of the year? A climate change extremist.  Great.  One more thing to worry about.  You went crazy on me when I was with her.  He is always looking for something bigger and better than what he already has.  If you were here right now, I’d falling asleep to his voice on the phone late at night, put his arm around me, or rub our hands together to make mine warmer.  To those who believe, he is a bigot, a racist, or a hateful person, you are plain wrong.  They admire your confidence and how smart you are, but sometimes they think you make silly decisions.  They don’t hate you.  They all were making fun of him because they think he likes me.  I asked him and he said no.  They just don’t understand that me and him are just friends.  I’ve never lied or covered anything up because I value transparency in a good friendship.  Nothing is good enough for him.  So used, so worthless.  So used, so worthless.  I don’t think he loved me.  He loved an idea of me that didn’t exist.  He is officially expelled.  He is in an eternal depression.  It’s just so hard to see him like this.  There is something resonating inside of me telling me he’ll come back.  There is something resonating inside of me telling me he’ll come back.  There is something resonating inside of me telling me he’ll come back.  There is something resonating inside of me telling me he’ll come back, but I doubt that will happen.  I love him.  I love him.  I love him.  I can never stop smiling and laughing with him.  It is never ending happiness with him.  He looks me in the eyes and he laughs at my jokes.  He smiles at me.  I feel invincible with him.  I feel sheltered and protected.  I’ve never felt these feelings with anyone else.  I can’t deny my feelings, but it is too bad that I could never admit to them.  I cant, I would ruin our friendship.  Hope to fuck you soon.  God bless the USA.